we all experience heartbreak at some point in our lives.
that moment in time when we feel like we are the ONLY person in the entire universe that is going through the pain of separation, heartache, abandonment, disconnect and sadness. it can be from many different forms of a relationship. from losing a loved one or cherished pet; a friendship that dissolves or the loss of an intimate partner relationship. these experiences all hurt in different ways and bring a new level of challenges to overcome and get through.
i am currently in the process of healing a broken heart for the loss of my lover and best friend. while i experience days when i feel like i will never get past these feelings, i remind myself that there is a chance in every moment to shift your perspective and remind yourself of your own power and love. so, i made a list for myself on how to heal a broken heart. perhaps one of these ideas will help you through a rough spot and to see the light that shines within you!
1. raw cacao. allow yourself to eat as much raw chocolate as you desire. any time. any where. and enjoy every bite of it!
2. dance in your bedroom. alone. dance to the Spice Girls or any nostalgic childhood music that brings you happiness and joy! jump up and down, sing, stretch and have fun with the beat of the songs. Zigazig ah!
3. create. i started to paint and draw with oil pastels again. (picture above) to release my feelings that i was unable to find words for. this has been very therapeutic and enjoyable.
4. explore. spending time in nature can be extremely healing. step outside, breath, and take it all in. i am grateful to watch the fawn and young bucks play in the hills across my house; picking fresh blackberries and figs on my daily walks and sitting in our garden!
5. take yourself on a date! each week i pick an activity to treat myself to, from a movie, concert, a talk or special dinner. it gives me a chance to appreciate myself and that i deserve the very best!
6. cheesy love songs. you know all those annoying love songs you hear on the radio? well, next time, sing them to YOURSELF! after doing this for a while, you will begin to smile and laugh and remember that you are your number one lover in life!
7. socialization of creation. join a group or activity that involves something completely new for you! i recently started to learn tracking skills! i am part of the Catscapes series in Marin that tracks pumas and bob cats and will also take a course on tracking other wild animals in the area this fall!
8. lift heavy things! or just move around and be active. i have continued with my strength training and crossfit and know that it helps in the healing process as well plus i am surrounded by an amazing community that supports me outside the box.
9. read. travel away and get lost in a book! it is a great way to relax and take your mind off of your current situation or feelings for a while. stimulates your brain and creative process as well!
10. mediate. most importantly, sit with your thoughts and feelings. even if it is for only five minutes. our busy life can push what we are really feeling or transfer it through stress, bad diet, anger, frustration and numbness. and it is ok to feel these things but from the teachings of Pema Chodron, learn to be in it and to feel it all. the only way to get through hard times is to lean into them. be with them in each moment.
to any of you who are reading, for whatever broken heart you may be suffering from, remember that it will get better. take each day at a time. reach out to family and friends for support. stay busy with healthy activities and always find quiet time to be with your feelings and thoughts. i look back at my first remembrance of a broke heart and thought i would never move on, but here i am. again. and i know that life has crazy twists and turns for a reason. there is something more amazing out there just waiting to be discovered, if you continue to stay open and just take a leap…!